I am in work, when I should be under a duvet…and my boss isn’t even here to appreciate my supreme self-sacrifice. As a result, I have declared today to be a silly story day. I have no clue as to what I might write, or how it will end up, but fingers crossed it will progress over the course of the day…and it’s unlikely to be sensible.
Now gather around. Bring yourselves ale and meat and get me pie and a mug of stout. Stoke the fire and close the shutters. This is a tale for the warm and the secret and the snug.
You’ve heard tell of the great Captain Kali, the fiercest Pirate Cat ever to sail the seas. No doubt you’ve heard tales from all and sundry, although you know you can only trust the words from me, for I knew her and I sailed with her crew from time to time. A crew near as famous as the Black Mitten herself, but there was a time before her crew had formed at her side, before the fine ship the Oooh, Shiny! had fallen to her as plunder and become the most feared, most beloved and most splintered pirate vessel ever to tread the waves.
In those days the Black Mitten were no Captain and just a fine young slip of a kitten called Kali was trying to make her fortune and her name so that she might never want for tuna again.
Now in that time, she found herself in the town of Carp’s Head on the little island of St. Finnigan’s. The Governor was a lush and the law was asleep, there was little wealth or care, but the location made St. Finnigan’s a common stop for taking on board water and individually sealed, lemon scented napkins. There wasn’t much to keep Kali there, but the ship she had arrived upon was a smelly vessel and not to her liking, so she spied a notice board in the town and went searching for jobs.
“Assistance is required in the reacquisition of property from the nefarious tenancy of certain spectral denizens. Payment in food, provisions, board and gold. Apply Prof. O. v.K.”